just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
