Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
