You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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