Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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