I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
