i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
