"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
