did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
