this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize