I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
