I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
ok first of all what the fuck
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