I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
