You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
