We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
