Having a random hookup so left but love u
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
