I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
