Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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