Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
