Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize