No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
