What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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