I think my vagina is haunted
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize