sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
