True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
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