I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
