Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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