Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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