your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
