cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
