Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
