Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
