1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
