Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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