idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
this is an emotional support booty call
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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