..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
