Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize