I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
