I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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