i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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