everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
