your thong is hanging out like whoa
Princesses don't give blow jobs
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
