Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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