"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
