she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
