Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I believe in your delicious
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
