you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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