We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
