i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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