I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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