i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
