You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
