quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
