i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
