girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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