I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
what day is it and did you see me today?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
