this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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