It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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