I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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