I smell stomach acid.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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