weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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