No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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