I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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