He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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